remember when niggas had they voicemail set up to sound like they answered the phone. like you call and it go “wassup” u start talkin and it say “sike nah this my voicemail” now u lookin dumb as hell like
SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.
science side of Tumblr explain why the ride home always takes less time
shut the fuck up
thank you science side of tumblr
They really need to make capri sun packs bigger. I’m not fucking 7 anymore. I am a grown man. All I’m saying is that sometimes 6.5 fl. oz. just doesn’t cut it.
one time in sixth grade this kid shouted “urethra” instead of “eureka”
I’M ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE PERSON IM JUST USED TO BEING WALKED ALL OVER AND DISRESPECTED SO SOMETIMES I COME OFF AS MEAN BUT I JUST CANT LET PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME AND I HAD TO GROW UP REALLY FAST OK BUT I PROMISE I HAVE A GOOD HEART AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND I DONT WANT TO EVER HURT PEOPLE’S FEELINGS BUT SOMETIMES I JSUT HAVE TO HAVE THE UPPER HAND AND MAKE SURE I DONT GET HURT IM SORR YI LOVE EVERYONE
SOMEBODY FUCKING SAID IT
I just love how this movie depicts them as a regular family.
special talent: dramatically lipsync songs and pretend that i’m in music video
Do not make
out of people.
This will leave you
missing arms that